how to spot a keeper

  1. he watches bride wars with you.
  2. twice.
  3. he asks questions such as “now, who is this character? is she planning the wedding?”
  4. he picks you up from work and takes you to target. the place where dreams come true.
  5. he takes out the trash with you at 11:30 p.m. because you guys lost the garbage key and have to find random places on the street to hide your trash so that you don’t get fined.
  6. he goes back upstairs to take out three extra loads and perhaps other furniture you would like to put on the curb such as things that are very heavy and do not have proper grips that he carries down by himself while you supervise. superbly.
  7. he washes your puppy even though the puppy bites him and draws blood. consistently.
  8. he does not make any remarks about the amount of times west elm has been to the apartment in the last two weeks. if anyone is counting, it is 5. 5 times. 6 as of 1 p.m. today.
that’s all i got. 8 ways to spot a keeper. if you are also watching bride wars, taking out trash in the middle of the night, and inviting the west elm delivery guys to your wedding, hit me up. i bet we’d be friends.

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