also

It’s not a problem, PER SE…but I am a wedding planning ninja.

You give me a task, BOOM. It’s done. I might obsess, I might ask every single person in my life what they think about gray bridesmaids dresses versus charcoal bridesmaids dresses, I might make a ninja-like decision and order all eight in everyone’s sizes with back ups just in case someone ruins their dress day of. Or something. I might do that.

You might call this OCD or perhaps even bridezilla behavior…but I believe the polite term is WEDDING PLANNING NINJA.

People ask me how the wedding planning is going. I don’t know. I couldn’t tell you. Ninja’s don’t tell. They execute.

The truth is, I can’t calmly investigate the next task. Because I know it will be done in one week. I dive in deep. Once I start researching florists, BOOM. OVER. I GOT THIS. Flowers done. Check. Thank you. See you on October 13th.

My stepmom says I have always been this way. When I was seven and came to visit them, they got me ten cardboard boxes, crates of fabric and superglue, buttons and sequins and spare materials so that I could make my requested summer project: A DREAM HOUSE CUL DE SAC. If you are wondering what that is, it’s when you make (approximately) ten houses out of cardboard and construct custom-made furniture, bedding, and wallpaper for each room of your cul de sac village. This project was intended to occupy me for most of the summer.

But ninja behavior starts young. I placed down my bag, ordered Shawn to the basement, and built all ten dream houses overnight. They say Rome wasn’t built in a day. Well. My Dream House Cul De Sac village was.

Oh sure we were tired. Oh sure that glue stick was hot when I asked Shawn to hold it at my mercy while I designed ten cardboard dream houses FROM SCRATCH. But we forged ahead. Those houses were such a comfortable, yet affordable living situation for the people I forgot to build to live in them.

So when people ask me how wedding planning is going… I like to say, “Weddings just plan themselves!”

Because when you plan them between the hours of 12 a.m. and 4 a.m.* every other week for 14 months…they really do.

*12 a.m.- 4 a.m. are the hours of a wedding planning ninja.

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