I think I have invented a multi-billion dollar industry.

Mother of the Bride dresses.

Because the people currently designing should step down, NOW. They are past their prime. We must bring them to a farm in Idaho and put them out to pasture.

I cannot reiterate how SLIM THE PICKINS are.

Rust strikes again. Also, that bow. What part of her body would we call that? It sure ain’t anyone’s waist. The cut is pretty. Also. I think she is modeling this in Rapunzel’s Castle.


Everyone needs to stop it right now with this acqua fabric that shimmers when you move. It needs to stop.

I just…I can’t. She looks like she is headed to a baptism in 1984. That is held inside a Pier One Imports.

Now, granted, my taste is a little skewed.

I wouldn’t mind if my mom wore a sassy number such as this:

You thought it was Marie Osmond at first too, right??

But methinks she is not to be sporting the wide-legged black bedazzle romper. I’m not saying my taste is perfect. I’m just saying we need to stop wearing rust.

Our ceremony is in a church church. I say church church, because it’s not in some kind of outdoor situation where you can come as you please and maybe not wear shoes. It’s in the churchiest of all churches. So I’m wondering what would be appropriate for such a church church, and also the fun reception. Maybe we do it big with a costume change.

Give me a little this for the ceremony:

And then bring it on home for the reception:

We shall see. You may have won the battle, MOB Dress, but I will win the war.

We are still 10 months out. This fight is LONG from finished.

(do not be surprised if I have my own line of couture MOB Dresses by Fall 2012. THERE IS A MARKET.)

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