a legitimate conversation with my grandmother.

Grandma: Dani! I am calling with good news!

(When your 82 year old grandmother calls with good news, you stop your day.)
Me: What! What!

G: The doctors have told me.

Me: Told you what!

G: That you need to eat fatty things in your diet. You need to eat more fatty things like avocadoes.

Me: What? Why?

G: Because avocadoes are DELICIOUS.

G: I was listening to them.

Me:  (I now understand.) Dr. Oz?
G: Him. He wants you to eat avocadoes. Eat something that makes you feel good. I love you! Bye!

 

So. Y’all. We have been DIAGNOSED. Eat things that make you feel good.

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