When I was little and we didn’t know I had allergies, my mom and I would go to McDonald’s on the way back from the hospital (my mama’s a nurse) and I would always, always, always get apple pie and an orange soda. Apple pie is one of my favorite things to eat during the holidays (and um, days that end with Y) so I was eager to re-create it in a Danielle-friendly way.
Last night I was feeling a little bummed out and decided to FIGHT BACK. I literally said to Chris: “I’m an adult and I WILL be having pie for dinner.” So I made him latkes and made myself a pie. For real, we are going to be the strangest parents.
I’m not messing with you- this pie tastes exactly like the McDonald’s pie. Ask Chris. He’s the first person to say I’ve made something that’s whack. Turns out, apple pie is an easy thing to make sans sugar, yeast, or dairy: they make gluten-free pie crusts, agave is amazing in pies, and Earth Balance saves the day yet again. Try this. I’m not kidding. I’m eating it right now and it’s 7 a.m.
Here’s what you’ll need:
– a gluten-free pie crust (we don’t waste time here making pie crusts. we buy them at whole foods)
– light agave nectar
– cinnamon and nutmeg
– Earth Balance
– 5-6 apples (not pictured)
– a little xanthan gum (if you can’t have flour- if you can, use that)
– vanilla extract
Here’s what we’ll do:
1. Pre-heat your oven to 350.
2. Start peeling and thinly slicing your apples.
3. Throw ’em in a big bowl. Add one cup of agave nectar, three glugs of vanilla extract, a healthy dose of cinnamon, and a sprinkling of nutmeg. Don’t over do it with the nutmeg.
4. Stir, stir, stir. Add in a sprinkling of xanthan gum (a thickening agent). If you think about it, agave is the PERFECT companion to apple pie because it’s already a syrup. So you just let your apple cinnamon agave mixture sit for a little bit, making sure everybody gets to soak up the yummy juices. I added three tablespoons of Earth Balance at the end; my stepdad would throw in real butter and rum at this stage in the game. If I could have rum, I would do that too.
5. Throw everybody in the pie crust. Pile it super high (even higher than mine – I wish I had a few more apples).
6. Carefully (CAREFULLY, DANIELLE) put the other pie crust on top. Mine ripped because I was reckless.
7. Cut four or five little slices onto the top so your girl can breathe. Stick her in the oven for 45 minutes.
8. Take her out and have her for dinner at 6 p.m. on a Saturday night.
Here’s what else: if you miss the dairy, sugar, or gluten, I will personally come to your home and make you a dairy, sugar, and gluten-filled pie. Even if you live in Nova Scotia. Because I am so freaking positive your face will be so up in this pie that you won’t even remember there is no real sugar or butter in it. It’s bananas and I want you to go make it right now.
(thank you, CJ, for taking pictures of me while I made my pie and putting the camera down when I ate three slices of it and made you watch the Business of Being Born, Part 2)