Since we moved to Connecticut, our lives have been a little bit of “…oh.”
Call it interruption of expectation, maybe. Those people we were in New York are not the people we are here – apparently your street cred doesn’t follow you along the Metro North line – and we’ve spent the past four months reconsidering our choices. To be completely honest, the two reasons we moved here both don’t exist anymore.
We’ve needed to make some tough calls this year, and both Chris and I made two very separate decisions to walk away from opportunities we thought (at the time) (naively) were perfect for us. I start a new job next week, and I am so excited about taking this big step towards a career I feel very, very passionately about. As passionate as I feel about my glassware collection, which is strong and undying and occupies most of my thoughts. I woke up early today to take my new glasses out of the dishwasher. I was THAT excited.
I have no idea what the next year will hold for this tiny little family, but I do know that I’m so proud of my boyfriend – and so unbelievably grateful that he has been such a sound, calming presence during the past six months of CrazyTown, USA. He has been the receiver of a lot of indecision (and one weekend that I was POSITIVE I wouldn’t pass my background check because we had library books and a Time Warner Cable router out) and a lot of un-Danielle-ness. It’s been the most un-me time of my whole life, and I’m taking some steps to get back on solid ground.
I think the first step (if this was Danielles Anonymous) was to say that yes, I’ve been a little sad. I’ve felt a little hole in my heart from missing a community in New York, of friends and coworkers and family. I miss my family. I feel far away. But at the same time, I’ve never been happier in my home. It is so funny, and bittersweet, how sometimes those two things (family + home) don’t intersect.
But I do think that this beat is turning around. New start + best friend moving back + new throw pillows in the mail + seven new glasses = beat. turned.
I think I thought (again, naively) that some things click into place and stay that way forever. But this whole journey – the careers, the friendships, the living situations – are so fluid, and require constant tending.
So this is the start of maybe a new chapter for me… a Chapter Four Part Two. I’m taking a deep breath, turning the page and buying some new shoes.
How was your week?